Advice For Thems That Needs It, vol. 492

Today's question comes from Cheryl Ann of Rockville, Nebraska:

Dear Shamalama,

I am 18 and a student. I recently slept with a guy at work and he has not paid attention to me since. I have totally fallen for him.

We have known each other since primary school and he always was shy. Why won't he speak to me, let alone date me?

First off, Cheryl Ann, you have to understand that many city boys don't like finding a plug of tobacco between your cheek and gums when giving you a goodnight kiss. That's not to say that you should stop, but rather that your guy at work might not be the guy for you if'n he's that squeamish. Heck, I remember once me an'a this gal actually swapped our plugs without breaking lip-lock. Damn fine girl, she was.

And there ain't nothing wrong with wearing that skimpy strapless dress to impress him. But what bothers some weaker boys is the tattoos of the names your former boyfriends up your arm and across your shoulders. Your guy at work is obviously an insecure type. Or you could only date guys with the same name.

Then there's the issue of those cutie sandals you were wearing. Now I likes them just fine. Just be sure and wash off your feet after feeding the pigs and before your slip on them sandals. Otherwise the aroma works against the Jungle Gardenia perfume your aunt gave you last Christmas.

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Well, that's all the time Sister Rosemary will allot me this week. Y'all just send me an email, or add a comment here, with your question and I'll answer it. Like we say down here in Conyers, it's been more hotter'n recently than goat's butt in a pepper patch.