Joe WIlson Made Trip To Middle East

Satire
Third rate ambassador Joe Wilson, desiring his privacy, has just returned from a trip to the Middle East, a trip that his wife, a terrible non-covert former CIA analyst, arranged. Wilson met with Iranian President Ahmadinejad and while the two drank mint julep tea, Wilson asked him if Iran had anything to do with the situation in Israel. Ahmadinejad replied that he did not and said that reports indicating he wanted Israel wiped off the map were manufactured by George Bush in order to make a case for war against his peaceful country.

From Iran Wilson traveled to Syria where he met with Hezbollah and Hamas representatives. Wilson asked them if they sneaked into Israel and kidnapped Israeli soldiers. While sipping mint julep tea, Wilson listened to these leaders deny such a charge and say that this was George Bush's manufactured story to incite anger and violence in the Middle East. One representative, who asked to remain anonymous because he is wanted in 50 countries said, "We are a peaceful people and have never been involved in violence. The US came in here on trumped up charges that you, Mr. Wilson, exposed. We would not be in such a state if the Zionists in Israel were not war mongers intent on eradicating our peaceful religion of Islam, Allah be praised."

Mr. Wilson returned to the US where he wrote an OP-ED piece in The New York Times. In the piece he stated that Vice President Dick Cheney's office requested that he go to the Middle East. He indicated that anyone who suggests that his wife had anything to do with it is only trying to discredit him and out her as a retired CIA analyst. The piece goes on to say:

While I sat in various locations throughout the Middle East drinking mint julep tea, I asked many questions and received honest answers from a misunderstood people. They told me, quite frankly, that they had nothing to do with any of the items attributed to them including the kidnapping of Israeli soldiers and the support of Hezbollah by Iran. These were peaceful meetings and I was awestruck at how the Islamic world only wants to live in peace but are stopped in every attempt by George Bush and the Zionists in Israel.

I can only conclude that the Islamic nations in the Middle East had nothing to do with the violence that is occurring and that George Bush greatly exaggerated or flat out lied when he said that the Israeli soldiers had to be released. It is obvious from my meetings that no Israeli soldiers are being held and that this is a lie set up by the Bush administration to justify more violence in a part of the world synonymous with peace. Hezbollah's claim that they have no rockets and have not fired into Israel coupled with their adamant denial of soldier kidnappings leaves me to believe that, once again, George Bush lied us into conflict. George Bush used his puppets in Israel by feeding them false information and stirred them into violence. I believe the claims by Hezbollah, Hamas, and Iran that the Special Operations guys in the US Army carried out these attacks to bolster support for the continued conflict.

Please be sure to watch your local bookstores because my new book, Bush Lied, Valerie Cried, and I love Mint Julep Tea, which I will write as soon as we are done suing Cheney, Rove, and Libby. We are also in the process of adding a guy named Big Dog to the mix because of his connection with the vast right wing conspiracy. We have had some trouble with this because I have ascertained that Big Dog shoots liberals first and asks questions later. Valerie and I actually believe that George Bush allowed Big Dog to write about us to intimidate us. He is a more dangerous threat than any so called outing of my wife."

There you have it. Joe Wilson says it so it must be true. He also wrote it in the New York Times and we know how they feel about George Bush and the Country. The Times Editorial staff has written a piece calling the lies of George Bush and the bloggong of Big Dog a secret anti-terrorism program and therefore believe it is their duty to disclose it. They still stand by their position that the only secret that should have been kept was Plame's "secret" identity.

End Satire
Cross Posted at Big Dog's Weblog